Wednesday, July 22, 2009

lakes of green

today it is raining in seattle. the liquid is leeching down the screenless windows of my small bedroom and leaking a chill through the single panes. it’s pouring, and i can feel the thunder. the electricity has been out for awhile. lightning must have hit some major power line. it’s pouring outside -- in my mind. 


it’s actually eighty-five degrees in the northwest and not even a drop of dew dripping from a single veiny leaf. i wish it was raining because it’s seattle, and it’s supposed to. where’s the gloom? 


tonight i’m going to make a vegetarian dinner. not because i would ever think of permanently leaving the land of hotdogs or bbq, but because i want to try something new. maybe some sort of casserole. the kind that looks disgusting and tastes wonderful. 


even though one is supposed to wait thirty minutes after eating to swim, i will go straight towards a non-salty body of water. the sun will still be high even though it will be late. i will decide to make the best of this weather. maybe i’ll jump from the high dive into Green Lake with the heat pushing me towards the swaying algae the lake takes its name from. someone told me today that sometimes this underwater forest grows so thick and so tall that they (whoever they is) shut the lake down to expunge the plant from its muddy floor. scuba divers equipped with weed-whackers manufactured for underwater use probably traipse out of government vans with their flippers already on. maybe they wield some rusty clippers for the edge work. kids would sit on the banks with overgrown bumblebees flying over their heads. they would dip their toes in the warm water and wait not so patiently with small sighs for the lake-gardeners to finish their deforestation. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

stream of consciousness

seattle is an even better place to live than i imagined. i’ve been so happy since i’ve moved here, and it’s helping me realize that happiness doesn’t depend on the people i’m with (since most of them are not here) but instead on a decision that i make to be happy and to be content. 


someone told me that i was an answer to his prayers about one of his friends. i’m heartbroken to say that i don’t think i am. now i’m waiting for the same thing for the same person. logic vs emotion vs emotion vs logic. they don’t have to mean different things. they’re just different functions of the same organ. 


my cat makes me extremely happy. he talks to me. and i talk back. he’s a great listener. my boyfriend bought him a toy. i think he may have been trying to get lucky. it was a pretty good ploy. 


i have two job interviews tomorrow. in a weird way, i like applying for jobs. it’s a challenge i know i can accomplish. 


i really love people more than anything. i enjoy them immensely. i miss a lot of people. 


i want to paint and draw and read more, but i don’t make the time for it, and that frustrates me.


i went to a yoga class today for the first time. i like pilates better.